today was : D

anyway, in my perspective, i think there's no right or wrong in a relationship or what you see in a boyfriend. the more important thing is how both understands each other and compromise. there IS a difference between a boyfriend and a male best friend, i mean, come on, do you fuck your best friend? i don't think so. or rather, then why call him a boyfriend instead of a best friend? or does that mean that having a male best friend during the course of a relationship makes you a two timer? or three timer or four timer?

so if one cannot compromise, the best way is to accept it and keep quiet. but how long can you keep this to yourself? you like to run away from problems and i like to solve them so it won't happen again. but because i understood your background and how you were brought up, i compromise, but that doesn't mean that i accept the way you are. its like, yeah, i can't blame you for being like that, but hay, you can't blame me for hating it too. and i think when you said you care, i expected something like at least listening to me when i speak, taking the effort to understand how i felt and not to throw back words that hurt. when i told you how i felt, i expected you to at least listen.

and to care is about trust. trusting means that you don't question my conscience. how do i trust you when you said you trust me but you question what have i done? if you dont know the situation, use your brains. will i do anything to harm anyone in the first place? at least you. if i can get down on my knees to ask for her forgiveness in your place just because you asked, why would i even hurt your friends?

if you decide to live your life by the textbook answers of what is right and what is wrong, i think its probably time for you to mature. yeah, i'm in no place of telling you to do so, but in what place are you to tell me to do so?

so correct me if i'm wrong, but i think i know what i'm doing. if i can make myself happy, even if its for that one tiny moment, so be it. if you can't make me happy, don't take my happiness away.

 

p/s. wangzhi, call me soon. thanks.